“Because rushing things make you a stupid son of a b*tch.”
Happiness matter, sure. And so does your sanity.
Because once you destroyed your own sanity? Well, you are doomed for a lifetime.
“We all have a significant dignity to protect.”
That is what a woman and men of nowadays didn’t understand.
“You’ve been hurt. I’ve been hurt. Isn’t that a reason to literally – you know – love each other?”
I was staring at my phone. This is tough. This is not how the beginning of a relationship should be.
Why would a message of someone that genuinely have interest in you be flowing by on your phone screen without you sending a reply just because you’re tired of relationship?
My message was delivered. And I have a strong conviction she had read it too.
But after thirteen minutes of my message being delivered she posted a status online, without acknowledging my message, talk of texting back.
I felt like I am being hit by a train.
I felt hurt.
I felt valueless.
I felt like she was telling me I didn’t worth to be there.
Because I have a heart too. And I have a dignity to protect.
“We all lost people, we lost a love ones, and we lost a relationship. But once we started using that as a measuring stone to our new encounters of experience to new people, we should be sure as hell a genuine heart will be passing us by, even without us realizing it.”
If you let your experience with an opposite sex shaped your life (in a bad way), you’ve already lost.
But all of a sudden I felt a sudden pull:
“What if I am impatient?”
Yes.
What if I have to be patient too?
What if trying to jump and shape things to my liking make me a stupid son of a b*tch?
What if sometimes I am the problem?
What if I have to consider her reasoning of being cold to a new experience of building a relationship too?
What if she was confused too, deep in her heart?
Why haven’t I thought about that?
So I relaxed.
Breathed in and breathed out.
Then I texted her:
‘Hard not wanting to think about you.’
‘Sleepless in the middle of the night not wanting to triple text.’
‘But I ended up texting you anyway.’
Even though it all sounded like a poetic poem.
The above three lines of messages still took all the courage in the world for me to typed.
You know why?
Because I am proud of myself too.
I didn’t want to feel like someone is ignoring me on purpose too.
Yeah.
We all hate it.
“But one thing love does better than anything else is to make you felt silly, think silly and do some silly stuff you wouldn’t even dare consider doing if you haven’t been fallen in love.”
And with that I accept everything.
Shaming?
Feeling inadequate?
Being ignored on purpose?
Not wanting to text back (even though she wasn’t busy)?
Yeah!
I accepted it all.
“And if you like call me a fool because of all that, it’s your damn f*cking problems.”
Mission Man 
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